Sunday, July 12, 2009

On marriage

Actually I don't want to comment so much on this, but as I feel I was challenged by one of my friends, here goes. Don't blame me, you started this OK..

As mere mortals, its good to know the words of the Holy Books, whether it is the Bible, the Torah or the Quran as reference and our guidance. Sadly, a lot of people just quote them for the sake of quoting but when it comes on whether it is practices is another issue. Remember David Koresh and Osama. Why did I bring this issue up. One of my friend's sister was beaten up once by her husband, when the family confronted him, he said that that is his right and misquoted a verse =.=, i think its just easier to beat him up than correct his misconception..There's a lot of happenings, where people use religion as an excuse, and sadly it brings bad name to any religion..

In marriage, I always here its about give and take, but who gives and who takes. I think most of that I have seen is just the men take gives and the wife receives. There is this joke my lecturer used to tell me "Who is more patience, the man or the wife", the answer is the wife, cause the man can still sleep if the baby is crying at night. Get the point, the wife nowadays have to work, then go back and do more housework. Most of the men I know never do this..

I am not saying that divorce is good, but to what extend can people suffer abuse. Remember the case of the housewife murdered by her husband last month. What made her stay with the guy for so long even though he was abusing her, up to the point of her losing her life? Is it due to some blind faith or what? I have no answer, but maybe she would still be alive if she left him, I do not know.

I still remember one religious group that go spreading the religion around by traveling. Some of them left thier wife for 3 days, 15 days or 30 days. And dome of them does not leave provisions to the wife and say that God will provide, does he think he is Abraham?????

And what for to get marriage, to reproduce, to have offspring. Read the newspapers nowadays..there are a lot of babies abandoned everywhere..and child abuse case and so on.

Why I am always taking about the negative stuff, cause it is happening everywhere, unless you live in a cave or your own self diluted world or hiding your head like an ostritch..These are things that needs to be addressed and solved first..not just quote here and there..

You are right in saying that the men of God are mere mortals, but they are all that we have now. Unless you want to say "Trust No One". The not so funny thing is a lot of people pretends to be religious to cheat people out of their money in get rich quick scheme.

Show a good example to other people. Nobody sees good example anymore, all the news just show bad example and bad people..

Am I pissed off, HELL YEAH I AM..

7 comments:

X said...

Lol your post on the religious group reminds me of a South Park episode, where Cartman "sent" himself to the future, where everyone is non-religious, but wars and such still happen among different factions (as opposed to religions) due to difference of opinions.

And then there was this one guy in this one faction, he was and old and wise one. He suddenly stepped forward amidst war cries and said that there is a need for religion, because, um, something along the lines of believing can lead to goodness. Of course, it being South Park, the wise old man (turtle actually) gets killed.

Anyway, my point is, religion or not, people need to learn to use their brains, learn to accept other people, and not manipulate things that are convenient to them and hurt others in the process.

Zombies should get these kind of people ("Braaaaains! Freeeesh! Unuuuuused!").

Marriage, on the other hand, well if guy and girl truly love, understand and trust each other, there will hardly be any problem. If guy loves and understands girl, there will be no throwing away baby, retarded arguments, abuse and such.

I'll shut up now.

SMS said...

Well said..Agree with that statement

Dumbo, the Sojourning Elephant said...

If my first comment there about the husband not getting to voice their view made my second comment sounded like I was asking the battered wives of abusive husbands to bear with their useless husbands, then I apologize and clarify here: I myself had advised a sister in Christ (who was from another country and was married to a useless junkie in Malaysia) to leave her worthless husband (who had resulted in her having to repay many debts he owed various loan-sharks) and go back to her home country. I do not condone violence and abuse, especially not in the name of religions.

But if you looked at the three stories in the article you recommended, no violence was involved (if my observation and memory are correct; correct me if I'm wrong). They merely cited the "waning of love" and "incompatibility". That, to me, is not good excuse enough, unless both parties have seriously worked to overcome the issue.

My wife and I are not compatible, by all earthly standards. Yes, we do love each other, to begin with; but we are two very different individuals with very different views and interests. Nevertheless, we have a sure and strong common ground, that is, our faith in Christ the Lord, and our conviction that we were brought together by His perfect will. It is on this common ground that we have built our relationship, and we do everything we can to make it work.

And please don't make every comment I made with biblical reference into a "challenge". I was not challenging you. I thought we were way over that. :-) I was merely stated a fact as I see it.

And as I see it, the world has never lacked those who misused the words of the holy books to gain their selfish ends. Such people had always existed, as long as there had been religions.

But does that mean we should stop learning these holy books, and applying the wisdom and guidance therein in our lives, and quoting them to others as advice?

See what the US has become, ever since they prohibited teaching the Bible in class, and forbade the mention of God in the schools.

Yes, religions will always produce both the good lots and the bad lots. But I do not believe atheistic philosophies (all those talks about learning to use our brains, learning to accept each other, learning to not manipulate, etc) can replace religions as a reign on the sinful human nature (yes, we are sinful by nature). Because you see, if there is no God, then all things are permissible... why then should I tolerate the others? Why don't I just manipulate them for my own interests? After all, WHO is to punish me? And in this world where kindness is never repaid, why should I be good at all? What's in it for me?

If there is no God, then all things are indeed permissible...

***

As you said yourself, "be a good example". I know you CAN be a good example. Why get pissed off and upset - at the expense of your health - about these worthless people that you mentioned (that murderer, those wife-deserters, etc.). What can your anger do to them?

Just go out there, find your dream lover, marry her, and show us a good example, dude. :-D

(Now, THIS is a CHALLENGE.) ;-p Don't kill me, please...

Dumbo, the Sojourning Elephant said...

By the way, another clarification: I did not mean you should turn a blind eye on all that injustice in this world; hell, NO; I love you as a friend and fellow human because of your sense of righteousness. What I meant is, don't get overly emotional about it to the point of affecting your health. Dude, we are in our mid-thirties, and blood pressure is not something to be trifled with. :-p

X said...

"See what the US has become, ever since they prohibited teaching the Bible in class, and forbade the mention of God in the schools."

Alright, first of all, that is not the cause of what the US has become. Sure, teaching religion in school might help, but it still does not prevent.

The reason why the US is like that is because, well, simple - they get practically EVERYTHING. This I know from first hand experience.

Let me give you a simple example - 9/11.
Honestly, just a couple of hundreds dies and the US makes a bloody big thing out of it.

"Lets have a moment of silence.... lets have another moment of silence... and another.. more.. more dammit!"

But what the US and the bloody world fails to see is, well, I'll cite two simple examples - Iraq, and Vietnam (i.e. the Vietnam War). Ever had at least ONE moment of silence for the killed innocents?

My point is, when you have everything, when something negative happens at a small scale to you, it is somehow bloody HUGE!! YOU GOTTA FEEL BAD TOO DAMMIT! And people being people, they fail to see the big picture.

--------------------------------

"Yes, religions will always produce both the good lots and the bad lots. But I do not believe atheistic philosophies (all those talks about learning to use our brains, learning to accept each other, learning to not manipulate, etc) can replace religions as a reign on the sinful human nature (yes, we are sinful by nature). Because you see, if there is no God, then all things are permissible... why then should I tolerate the others? Why don't I just manipulate them for my own interests? After all, WHO is to punish me? And in this world where kindness is never repaid, why should I be good at all? What's in it for me?"

I see this is directed at me. I did not say not to have religion, no, religion is very important to some people.

I also see that you don't have faith in people who do not believe in God.

Let me ask you one thing - why do you need to be punished/rewarded for what you do? Why can't you do it because it is just simply the right thing to do? Why must you manipulate people into doing you favour when you know it hurts the other person in doing so?

From your point of view, 'he gets hurt, so what? I'm winning here!' and 'why should I be kind when I don't get rewarded?'
You see, this comes to using our brains. If you use a person, who's to say the person wont get fed up and end up permanently injuring you? And if you act kind to people, don't you think people, when they see you, will have positive talk about you? And whenever you ask for a favor, they will definitely be glad to help, instead of saying "I'll help, I'll get rewarded in my afterlife in doing so." Speaking of which, helping for that reason is selfish, don't you think?

I'm a non-religious person. I live a rightful life. When people are told that I am non-religious, they get shocked. You see, it all depends on the person. But once again, I stress that having a religion can be very important.

I'm sorry if I was being anti-religious.

Dumbo, the Sojourning Elephant said...

Sorry if any part of my comment felt like "directed at you". I was too lazy to write something original along that line, so I plagiarized your lines. :-p Sorry...

But please get the fact right before you say something like "just a couple of hundreds dies" Please check how many died in the incident.

My point about the US was directed at the moral decadence in their society (yes, their leaders had always been corrupt in one way or another - and again, because they were not God-fearing - leading to such tragedies as Vietnam and Iraq; but that was not the issue I was trying to point out).

And I agree that the US's problem started way before they "evicted" God from the schools.

First, they "uninvited" God into their politics. Then they excluded Him from their judicial system. Then they allowed such "scientific" religions as evolution (it is a "religion", because many parts of it require "leaps of faith" to believe in) to convince people that the Bible is telling lies. Then they allowed humanism to take over God-centered philosophy. Then they started treating churches like community activity centers instead of solemn places of worship. Then people stopped taking God seriously all together. (And in all these, the media had played the "important" role of an accessory.) Yes, "evicting" God from the schools was only a small part of the equation.

I agree that being "too rich" and "having everything made" can be a part of the equation. But if someone who has everything acknowledges that what he has is received through God's grace, and not because he deserves it, he will learn to use his abundance in a benevolent way.

***

I congratulate you - and envy you - that you can be good without any rewarding/punishing motivation. And if that truly is the case, then I concede that you have no need of religion. Jesus himself had said, "They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." (Mark 2:17)

But I (and many others like me, and we make the majority in this world) need God. My inherent nature is evil. My natural tendency leans toward the sinful. People like me are a curse to this earth, and I would have continued being a curse to any and all around me if Jesus had not found me, and redeemed me.

X said...

Well, I suppose there can be more than two sides to any story, where it can be true whichever side picked.

It was pretty cool discussing with you. =)

And BTW, there is no need to be envious - both sides have its ups and down.

Having a religion and believing can be beautiful(as long as not to the extreme) and you can perform certain things better when you do I suppose, and I am missing out on that. I'll pass on commenting for your side.