Wednesday, August 4, 2010


It's late, and I am kind of tired, but I am too pissed off to sleep. This week is a transition week, meaning the new semester has started, while the old semester is at its last week. I have been teaching from 8 am to 6 pm for 2 days already and tomorrow is the same.

Whoever said that teaching is a noble job must be just sitting in a fucking office, doing paperwork while its others are the ones teaching. If you think its easy, try speaking non stop for 4 hours, then you tell me how it feels. And no one appreciate you, the system is fucking funny, too many people get A you have to answer, and too many people fail you also have to answer. I have heard that some lecturers with "high integrity" purposely give the exam answer to the students. Even though I am a dubious character, I don't have the "high integrity" to do that.

Honestly, there are so many times that I feel that I want to just walk away from it all.

There is a phrase, "If you want to be praised, just die".

And sometimes people just see what you did not do, not what you do. I bought my sister a handphone, a computer, her bills every month, a car so my dad will be proud, but some people still nag me over some small issue. Maybe I should go back less often, so people will appreciate me more, or forget about me.

Suicide, don't be silly, I don't believe in that. You have to face the world and whatever it throws at you, and at the end of the day, you can just say, I did my best. Which reminds me of an episode of "Criminal minds" where a police who is about to retire asked "Is it worth doing when the criminals gets away?". And one of the agents answered "We don't determine who win and lose".

Talking about bleeding, I had an accident with one of my knives last week, and my hand bled real bad. This picture is icky but I finally decide to show you all, so you all appreciate me more =.=

It was really an accident and I did not do it on purpose, but since I was bleeding, might as well take a picture first, before looking for some bandages. Do you think I will make a good cameramen?

As the Goo goo dolls song "Iris" states, well you bleed just to know you're alive.

Today I bought another black Esprit shirt, so I can wear more black at work now.

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